If the divorce seems to be moving very quickly and she seems emotionally content with how things are going, this may not be a huge deal. This isn’t to say that you can’t date her in the future! If her divorce is finalized in the next month or two and she’s ready to date again, there’s no problem with dating.
If the two of you haven’t started dating yet and you’re trying to figure out if it’s a good idea or not, her relationship with her ex should tell you a lot. If she can’t stop talking about how great he is, it’s probably a sign that she’s not ready for anything with you.
If this is a rare occurrence, you may not want to read too much into it. The occasional complaint may be just be normal, healthy venting. If she seems resistant to answer questions about her ex, it’s actually a really good sign! It means she’s trying to build something with you, and only you. A healthy relationship with her ex should look a lot like a business relationship. They should be friendly and respectful, but not so invested in one another that it causes big emotional reactions.
If you have started dating and you have a nagging feeling like you aren’t the most important thing in your life, that’s a good thing! She might be the most important thing to you right now, and that’s okay, but you’re never going to be more essential than her children, and that’s okay too. It can be hard to tell if you don’t have children, but if you get the vibe that she’s consumed with her children to the point of obsession, it might be a sign that she won’t have time for a relationship.
Don’t push yourself to meet her kids; let her broach the subject at her own pace. However, when she does eventually bring this up, don’t shy away! Her kids are a big part of her life, and if she wants you to meet them after 6-12 months of dating, it’s a big sign she’s ready to take things to the next level. If it’s been 6-12 months and she outwardly refuses to even introduce you, that might be a red flag as well. It’s 100% her decision on when to introduce you, but she should be at least interested in bringing you around if everything has been going well.
Don’t read into it if she just makes one or two comments about what kind of a dad you’ll be if you’ve been dating for months, but if this comes up super regularly, it’s worth taking note.
If her and her ex are on reasonable terms, they’re friendly, and there doesn’t seem to be any big friction, it’s a huge sign that she’s a stable person with a good working relationship with her ex. Green flags all around!
Most people who have children rise to the occasion. However, in some instances, people who aren’t ready for kids end up sort of struggling to adjust. It’s possible to just catch her at the wrong time before she’s fully sorted things out on her end. The reverse is also true here. If she’s on top of things and she strikes you as an uber-responsible person, it’s a big sign that she’s ready for a serious relationship.
This may be a green flag if she simply has a great team helping her out behind the scenes, but it might be something worth paying attention to if the two of you have been dating for months and she never needs to reschedule plans or take a rain check.
You could try splitting the bill on your next date just to see what she says. If she’s up front about not having a lot of money right now because of a costly divorce or something like that, it may not be a huge deal!
